What I Learned During my First IVF Series

I started writing down a list of things I learned during our fist IVF series that we completed this past January (2012) while we were awaiting that painful phone call on February 6^th telling us we were not pregnant. I was so blessed to have my sister who had gone through this before to go to with questions, fears, frustrations, and to just vent.

She successfully has the two most precious twins through IVF that she completed back in February of 2009 ( my sister's twins Cooper and Mackenzie shown below). Having her as a resource and a rock to fall back on was truly indispensable and I wanted to share some tidbits that I learned along the way.

I must preface this by saying everyone’s experience is different…but here’s mine.

Perhaps they will help, perhaps they will inform, perhaps they will make you smile during this process.

20 things I learned during our fist round of IVF:

·      Let’s talk about the scary part, the injections.

I happen to be a BIG needle phobe! I’m talking you may as well chase me around the house and hold me down to give me an injection. If you are doing them yourself then three massive cheers for you because you are a champ! If you’re like me and your spouse or significant other is administering them then here are some things that helped us both get through them.

1.    Always lay down when doing the injections.

Cover your eyes, and have a wet rag. I would lie down on my side in our bed and cover my eyes with the rag, which helped me if I started to get nervous and over heated. Very calming.

2.    The Lupron injections in the arm/leg are a piece of cake.

We did them in the arm and my husband Chris would pinch up my skin towards the upper part of my arm and quickly do the injection. I was never sore and never bruised with him administering them in the arm.

3.    Have them verbally talk you through the injections.

Chris would wipe my arm down with the alcohol pad, I’d close my eyes, he would pinch up the skin as much as possible and then he would count to 3. “Ok, you’re doing great, it’s going fast, almost done….Good job!”

4.   Gonadotropin Injections

Moving on to the scarier ones. Again, lie down on your side, close your eyes and have them pinch up as much skin on your stomach as possible before the injection. I found that the Menopur injection bothered me the most but I think it was due to the syringe. The needles were all the same size, small, but that injection needed to be “pushed more” vs. the others and did cause some bruising and soreness. 

5.   Over coming the shot YIPS or fears.

There are days that are just much easier than others and the “YIPS” are when I would have a bout of nerves and it would take me sometimes up to an hour to finally lie down and take the injection. I will say this….the longer you drag it out, the worse it’s going to get and the more nervous you will be. A nervous body during an injection is definitely something you want to avoid. Try to be as relaxed as possible and think about why and whom you are doing this for. Having a scheduled time for the injections also helps to ready your mind and body.

6.   Bruising or sometimes bleeding at the injections site can happen and is normal.

 I know reading “it’s normal” doesn’t really prepare you for the first initial freak out when your spouse accidentally hits a blood vessel under the skin and some blood runs out.  Needless to say it can be a terrifying experience for both of you but just know that it’s ok. He didn’t stab you, apply some slight pressure and wipe the injection site down with an alcohol pad. Oh, also make sure you aren’t lying down on white sheets (we made this mistake and ruined some perfectly nice thread count). You will also likely bruise if you hit a blood vessel. A lovely dark green and purplish bruise around the injection site.  This only happened twice during our entire IVF series. Perhaps that will ease your mind.

7.    Progesterone Shots.

For some reason I was really scared of the Progesterone Shots before I started taking them. In fact, it took me a little over an hour to get up the courage to lie down and take my first one. The shots are based in oil and most women do experience soreness from these injections. I’ll say this, they are nowhere near as bad as I had made them up to be and the only difference to me was the location of the injection. I would lie down on my stomach and have Chris do the injection in my hip. There is no pinching of the skin with these but if you do them fast (almost like throwing a dart…don’t let that scare you) and put a warm rag on the injection site afterwards they really aren’t bad at all. There will be soreness after the 2^nd or 3^rd injection; at least that’s what I noticed but nothing too severe. Some women suggest taking the injection while standing and lifting one leg off the ground slightly and doing the injection in that side of your hip. We never tried that and stuck to our “always lie down to do injections”.

8.    HCG Trigger Shot

This one always stung as the medicine went in. Not sure why but every time we did it, it stung for several minutes afterwards. Almost like a slight burning feeling. Not telling you this to frighten you but to inform you just in case you experience it as well. During our first injectable IUI I freaked out when it started burning not knowing if that was normal and called the emergency line for our doctor to make sure. The actual injection is really no different than the other stomach injections but afterwards I did cramp as well as the stinging sensation for about 10 minutes.

9.    In Office Blood draws

Unfortunately this is also part of the IVF experience; the seemingly constant blood draws and monitoring, but you have to keep in mind it is strictly for your protection and benefit. That have to make sure your hormone levels are at the correct levels and whether or not to keep your drug dosage at the present levels. You typically go in the early morning for your blood draws and will know the results more than likely by the early afternoon. The staff at my clinic happens to be aware of my predilection to fainting at the sight of blood as well as my phobia and allows me to lie down in a room to have my blood drawn. It’s always better to make them aware of your fears or issues than to have them picking you up off the floor after you’ve fainted. Always.

10.                  Properly disposing of the needles

When you order your medications to begin your IVF series the company will more than likely include a sharps container (bright red, you can’t miss it) with your medicines. If they do not or you fill your sharps container you can go to any pharmacy and request another. Most charge about three dollars for a replacement. You can also take your full sharps container with you to your doctor and have the lab tech dispose of it properly. (Putting your needles in a box with duct tape out on the curb for your garbage men to take is NOT the correct way to dispose of them. My husband and I joked about doing this…only reason I am including it.)

Other tips I learned not involving the injections…

11.                Make sure the staff at your clinic is aware of any financial issues you may have during this process.

It’s an uncomfortable but important discussion to have if you are finding this entire process taxing on your pocket book. My husband and I were very open about the financial strain this was taking on us and the staff did their absolute best to accommodate. We were able to shop around for the best priced meds, use coupons, and also acquire donated meds from previous patients. This helped us tremendously!!

12.                  If you have a question, then ask it.

Sometimes you may feel rushed during your appointments depending on the size of your clinic but don’t let anyone make you feel that way. You’ve put your body and your bank account through an awful lot to not feel as comfortable as possible with things. If you don’t understand the terminology, or diagnosis always, always ask questions. Take notes as well, that way you can go back and review what was discussed.

13.                  Have someone with you during big, stressful appointments.

This may be difficult with everyone’s busy schedules but try to have someone with you during the bigger appointments. You will be very anxious and will want someone there for support and to hear all of the information.

14.                  Wear what makes you comfortable to appointments.

Whether it’s sweats and Ugg boots or dressing up to the nines, wear what makes you comfortable during your appointments. Wear what makes you feel good about your self. Socks….try to wear socks when you can. It can get pretty chilly in those dark ultrasound rooms waiting for the doctor.

15.                 Having a Sense of Humor

My husband and I can be pretty goofy people but it’s tough when you are going through something like IVF to maintain that lightheartedness. Chris found a way to make me laugh even when uncomfortable. He nicknamed my largest follicle “Gert” due to its’ size. (No offense to anyone named Gert). He would claim that Gert was eating all the Gonal meds and growing too large for the others to compete with. It sounds ridiculous but it made me laugh; whatever it takes try to find the humor in the humorless.

16.                  The Pelvic Exams

The need for these exams can make you feel violated six ways to Sunday but again…it’s for your benefit. The nurse or doctor performing these may rattle off a bunch of things to you:

o  Your cervix, how it looks

o  Your lining. Depending on when you have this performed they are looking for the “thickness”.

o  Your ovaries

o  Your Follicles. Do you have any developing? How many? What size? Growth rate. (These are little black blobs on the screen).

Again, if you don’t understand something they are discussing with you please ask them. We were confused during our first series on what size the follicles needed to be in order to go through with the egg retrieval process. (General size needed is 1.8mm range).  Our follicles were present but growing at a slower rate so they up’d our drug dosage to help them along.

17.                 It’s ok to feel angry or disappointed.

You will deal with every emotion possible during this time and you need to know that it’s ok. It’s ok to have those days where if you see one more friend on facebook announcing a pregnancy that you will throw your computer through the wall. It’s ok to glance around the waiting room and wonder what your odds at getting pregnant are. It’s ok to feel disappointed if things don’t work out the way you had planned. Just find a way to deal with that anger and disappointment in a healthy manner. Talk with someone; find an outlet whether it is a journal, a blog, a counselor, a family member. Immerse yourself in a favorite activity or hobby, but ultimately know that it’s ok to have those feelings.  To that end:

o  Don’t blame the clinic specialists or your doctors. They want you to get pregnant just as badly as you do and are doing everything they can to make that happen.

o  Don’t let things bottle up. Find a way to work those emotions out, even if it takes a while.

o  Don’t feel guilty for being jealous of what others have. It’s so difficult to be happy for others when they have the one thing you want so desperately. But don’t shut them out because they do.

18.                  Positive Thinking…

I must tell you that this was one of the things I struggled the most with….Positive Thinking. I’m not a naturally negative person; quite the opposite, but I am a cautious person. It’s not in my nature to think “everything is going to go great, exactly the way I’ve planned!”, but going through this IVF process and infertility in general you will more than likely hear this over and over and over….”Keep thinking positive!”. There is nothing wrong with this concept and I did find at times that it helped me go through some difficult times as well as positive visualizations “seeing yourself becoming pregnant” etc. It is difficult to maintain given that this entire process is one massive emotional and physical roller coaster.

My advice? Try to go with the flow. If you’re having a “down day” and not feeling exactly positive or chipper, that’s ok but try to not let it dominate you. I would acknowledge my mood shifts for what they were, mostly hormonal but also recognize that it was ok to want to literally punch “Just stay positive” in the gut and come back for more. I did find actually looking at having the opportunity to even attempt IVF as an exciting thing given the cost involved. Not every couple struggling with infertility has this opportunity and as much as I dreaded most of what came with IVF, I was thankful for it and that helped me stay positive when I didn’t want to be.

19.                 Feeling absolutely overwhelmed at times is normal.

There is nothing about IVF or infertility that isn’t emotional. The very crux of it has multiple layers and will cause you to feel so many different things. Alone, ashamed, guilty, sad, angry, confused, and most of all overwhelmed. I’ve had many a day where I did allow it to consume me and I wish I had reacted differently. Sometimes it hits you unexpectedly in the checkout line or sitting in traffic but it will inevitably hit you. If it doesn’t, please message me your secret so I can have your special powers as well. My best advice is to find someone to talk to whether it’s a family member, friend, or counselor. Trying to take everything on by yourself of just with your partner is incredibly difficult and you need to be able to release those emotions.

20.                 Realize your openness about your infertility may make some people uncomfortable.

As you can see I’ve mentioned a few times in this that I think it’s important to have people you can go to and discuss what you are going through. You may find if you open yourself up to talking about infertility and IVF a few might things will happen:

o  They will be supportive and encourage you. Perhaps they themselves have gone through this struggle.

o  They will become uncomfortable with your openness and attempt to politely dismiss you.

If they are uncomfortable that’s ok, your talking about something very private that most people do not discuss especially in southern culture. When my husband and I decided to open this blog we agreed to be open and honest about everything despite the reaction we may get from some family and friends. I am delighted to say that for the most part it has been overwhelmingly positive and supportive and we don’t regret it in the slightest. Not some 10 years ago very few people discussed breast cancer due to the sensitivity of the issue and I am so grateful that that has changed. I do wish more women would come forward about their struggles with infertility for there is strength in numbers!