We're Still Here

We're Still Here~ April 16th, 2013

Hi everyone. Yes, it's been a while since I last posted. I had a friend ask me last week if I had just completely stopped writing about our path to Baby Baker and I quickly responded "No". She quirked her eye brow at me and said "well, then perhaps you should write something...ya know, since you haven't quit."

So here I am, not quitting, struggling a bit with exactly what to say because not much has changed since I posted last back in November. Ok I shouldn't say not much has changed, but not much in regards to the updates or status of our adoption process. 

I have come to realize that they call it a "process" because that is exactly what it is. Boy is it ever.  As you all know we were placed officially on the wait list with our agency at the first part of November of last year. Every time I see my husband get a sad far away look on his face when we pass couples with babies or some cute onesie in Target he so desperately wants to put on a little one I say out loud, "I love you, it's ok, it's only been 6 months. Think of it this way, the time for waiting can only get shorter from here."

I say it for both of us to hear because just because I am the one trying to reassure and calm him, I need to hear it and believe it as well. So, 6 months of waiting with a few updates here and there from our agency trying to reassure us as well that things are "happening", but that we have to remain patient. 

I do want to say thank you to those of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. Despite not knowing exactly what to say, I really do appreciate the "So any new news?!" questions. Most of the times I just sigh, shake my head, and say "No, still waiting." 

I've been blessed to be busy with work, still running (yes I have actually kept it up and do enjoy it most days), cooking a ton in my newly painted kitchen thanks to my darling husband, and doing the things that I in general love. 

Chris and I are great. Whenever my sweet mother expresses worry or concern over me and our struggle to have a family of our own I always tell her "Hey, Chris and I are great, I love my job, I have my health, I have wonderful friends and an amazing family. I can't let the one thing I don't have over shadow all that I do."

I can actually hear her smile bitter sweetly over the phone when I say this, almost like a mantra, but I think she believes me. I promise to post at least once a month here because I really do need this. I was recently asked by the director of our adoption agency to start a support group for the other Waiting Couples at the agency.

So far there are about 10 couples interested and I really am honored to be involved. Hopefully we will set the date for our first official meeting for the end of this month. (Will keep you updated).

Until then, Chris and I wanted to thank you and let you all know that we are still here :)

                                        "We're Still Here"- Sleeping at Last

All of a sudden, you change my mind

Pull back the curtains, a little at a time

You were on a frequency, the perfect opposite of me

Though I never needed any proof to trust the heart that beats inside of you

Only one thing really matters

We're still here, we're still here

Against all odds, we're still here

We're still here

There is comedy within your eyes, history only you and I can write

There is pigment in your memory, the origins of our family tree

Though I never needed any proof to know the heart that beats inside of you

Only one thing really matters

We're still here, we're still here

Through the static, through the ashes we will brave

Through the perils, endless narrows, ....still here

We're still here, we're still here

We're still here.